considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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