I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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