Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
