I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
