Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
