I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
