I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
