Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
