They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
