Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
