Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I love you.
Bad choice
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
