This girl is more easily done than said...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
