i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
