Sry I called you an 8
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
