I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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