the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
