I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize