Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
