The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize