something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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