Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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