love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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