we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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