STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
