last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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