i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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