sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
