The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
