I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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