I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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