I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize