and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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