She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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