Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
