So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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