Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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