So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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