I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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