I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
