Me too!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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