Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
