It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
