I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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