I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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