Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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