No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Be still, my beating vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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