Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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