would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
