so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
