Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
