I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
