I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize