What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
