He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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