Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize