omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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