dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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